Amazing how difficult it can be to take a few moments each month to write simple thoughts of life.
I get such low quality sleep these days.
I worry so much about development.
I make it through my days one cup of coffee (or most days Italian Expresso) at a time.
and when the "liquid motivation" runs low I snap at my sweet boy for simply being 3.
I try to clean only to turn around to see for-mentioned 3 year old boy destroying cleaned area.
The kitchen is a mess, dishes piled, counter tops unwashed. THANK GOD for Walmart food delivery!
I spend hours forgetting about the laundry ... only to have to re-run it again.
I NEED quality time with the husband, or I feel alone.
My sweet boy Wyatt is truly in the stage of being 3 and a BOY. His cuddle moments are rare these days, and although learning his voice ... phrases like "mommy i no like you today" and "i do it myself, go away mommy" still can leave me sad and yet angry all at the same time. He likes to be dirty and crash his toys together. He likes to bang the hammer and ride his bike. He still has a tender heart. The consequence he hates the most is seperation. His heart hurts when after a warning he must go play away from the family - especially his favorite family member Haden.
Our little Haden smiles like there is no evil in the world. He laughs. He loves. He grins. And he is a pure joy. Yet because he was born so tiny he has inner muscle strength problems - and a tongue that needs trained for proper swallowing. He wakes us every 2 hours at night (read I sleep in 1.5hr stretches) to feed because he is completely unable to suction a bottle and has not stimulated enough milk to suffice his now 8month body. He's active. He's army crawling and rolling. He's reaching for toys and licks everything! I only wonder what he would be able to do if his outer strength matched his will-power. I am encouraged and excited to begin Occupational Therapy with him soon.
My love, my husband, has been waking at night with me demonstrating his love as I feed and hand off Haden to be soothed to sleep. Although he is at times snappy with me, he loves me. And although at times I am snappy with him, he is my love and my partner in this crazy life of 2 boys and little sleep.
And here I sit, watching the supposed "nap time" on the baby monitor. Haden crawling around his crib ... Wyatt playing in Haden's room, throwing toys to his brother and calmly talking to him like they are already best buddies.
How life is going to be challenging and wonderful and surprising raising these two boys.
How I will always worry about their development.
I will always worry about their inner hearts and love of the Lord.
I will ONE DAY have a clean house again.
I will miss those sweet smiles in the middle of the night,
BUT
I will not miss waking up every 2 hours to a baby with 5 teeth.
